Good afternoon, everyone, and welcome to an impromptu (and I far as I know, unprecedented) edition of Techie Tuesday. I’m your host, the mildly frenetic and wildly understated Deputy Kingdom Webminister, Matthias von Würzburg.
So, dear readers, this morning we received a helpdesk email asking what should be done about an email. A rather sinister email. An email that, were it not utter bull—-, would be terrifying and downright ominous.
An email that I, not even an hour previously, received an almost identical copy of.
Allow me to paraphrase – no, let me just throw the first couple of paragraphs in here. It’s much funnier this way:
“I am a representative of the ChaosCC hacker group.
In the period from 03/06/2019 to 25/08/2019 we got access to your account firstname.lastname@example.org by hacking one of the eastkingdom.org mail servers.”
I’m sorry, but what? No. You’re basically saying you got your hands on our biscuits by hacking Google. Good work. Kudos. High-five. This is insanity. But wait, there’s more:
“You already changed the password?
Sumptuously! But my program fixes this every time. And every time I know your new password!”
I’m sorry. I have to stop here. SUMPTUOUSLY?! WHO THE BLAZES USES WORDS LIKE THIS?
Foreign extortionists with a vague and comical grasp on the English language, that’s who.
So here’s the rub – if you ever get an email like this, where they have spoofed your address and are demanding payment, just tag it as spam. Our filters try not to mark anything that appears to be coming from inside our system as spam, leading to ridiculous situations like this. This is nothing that anyone should be worried about.
Are they unaware that the EK doesn’t even HAVE Sumptuary Laws?
Matthias von Würzburg
Deputy Kingdom Webminister