Greetings once again from the Webministry of the East Kingdom!
A piece of advice that was given to me during my recent Vigil was that when you are wrong, own it. Only a week ago I said that the migration of the Kingdom’s email to Google was complete and that everything had gone well. Apparently I could not have been more wrong.
The people I said had done a ton of work? That part was correct. They really did.
Since the “completion” of the project, we have become inundated with complaints. “I preferred the old way.” “No, the really old way.” “It’s not period.” “Now where do I get my turmeric extract?” It has become clear that the Webministry is simply out of step with the communications needs of the populace and of the Kingdom.
As such, we are terminating our relationship with Google, and henceforth partnering with the office of the Minister of Arts and Sciences. As this will be a “more period” communications method, it only makes sense that we would work with Master Phillip and his team.
Thus, we are announcing the new East Kingdom Courier Corps. Here we have the Corps first delivery, to Prince Brennan no less. Master Phillip is shown wearing the new Corps Uniforms, complete with his Courier ID Number and instantly recognizable shiny cloak! You can see the excitement on His Highness’s face on this momentous occasion. Remember, if a “courier” isn’t wearing their number and their cloak, they aren’t a real member of the Courier Corps!
One major advantage to the new Courier Corps is that not only can we deliver messages post haste, we can also deliver potted meat directly to your door! No more worries of running out of turmeric, an official Courier Corpsperson will bring more right to your home, or even right to the feast kitchen! Running low on tactical torches the night before the torchlight tourney? Say no more! For those looking for an investment opportunity, take a look at https://archiveofourown.org/works/801848 !!
Clearly, all of this is going to cost money. Fortunately, Pheidippides himself recommended a sponsorship, and Nike has come through for us sponsoring our official uniform pattens! With Nike pattens it is almost as though you can fly! (Nike! “Juste Doo Eet!”(tm)) We can’t thank her nearly enough for her support.
Now, however, we need help. We are looking for a couple hundred new members of our team. The work isn’t hard… errr… it isn’t diffic… well… the work is really good exercise. Really good. Yeah. For those looking for an even more aerobic (or probably anaerobic, honestly) workout, here we see two more Couriers wearing our special DragonSafe (patent pending) Uniforms made special for deliveries to the Midrealm. You’ll note that the DragonSafe Uniforms do not have our signature cloaks. Our Uniform Designer, Mistress E. Mode, insisted: “No Cloaks!” for added safety when delivering in foreign lands.
In closing, my humblest apologies for the magnitude of my error, and for the months I’ve spent pestering, hounding, and harping on the progress (or lack thereof) of the move to Google for email. I assure you, I shall not make such an error again.
Nike! “Juste Doo Eet!”(tm)
Yours In Service,
Master Joel Messerer
East Kingdom Courier Corps Dispatch Office
(Photo 1 credit: Adam Trent, message scribe: Eloise Coulter)
(Photo 2 credit: some friend of Ivan and Aaron?)
(Letter from King Richard: Aífe ingen Chonchobair in Derthaige)