The Largesse of the Great Heart of Saint Kenric of Blessed Memory
The following was shared with the Gazette by Meister Ulric von der Insel, Baron Bridge.
It is with humility and reverence that we, Ulric and Clothilde, Baron and Baroness Bridge do announce the rediscovery of the Great Patrimony bestowed upon us in days gone by! Much like the noted Donation of Constantine, whereby the Papal States were formed and which in NO WAY at all might be a forgery, Bridge was the recipient of the Largesse of the Great Heart of Saint Kenric of Blessed Memory, which, also, is in NO WAY a forgery at all! The document was rediscovered and read to the delight of all assembled at the barony’s 43rd birthday. Much as with the miracle of saints’ blood still staying wet over the centuries, herein was a miracle of Saint Kenric that the ink even appeared wet upon the scroll! Here it reads verbatim as follows:
Kenric Masculobarbatus Rex Defender of the East & Patron of Prosperity to All to whom these letters come, especially around AS 51, greetings. Know that Our Crown Barony of the Bridge being home of Our Heart & Body We would ensure its future lest it fall into poverty and so it must also prosper as a fit home for My Dearest Avelina in the unfortunate case of my demise by oh, I don’t know – maybe many black arrows in the chest. Thus do We gift forever said Crown Barony with the full income of the Great Kings Highway from one end to the other without gainsay, hindrance, stay or molestation upon pain of censure, forfeiture of estate, dismemberment and disembowelment. This We command upon this 24th day of September AS 46 being the birthday of Our most beloved brother Ulric. So say We Kenric Rex the First of Three or So.
Post Script: This document is in no way a forgery
Signed Kenric’s Scribe’s Notary
This was read by myself – Meister Ulric von der Insel, Baron Bridge – on Sunday December 4 at Bridge Birthday 43. The document was discovered after long laying forgotten in a chest. (Note: It’s a forgery patterned after the famous Donation of Constantine, by which the Papal States were granted to the popes in perpetuity by Emperor Constantine. Really, it’s just for instigation and fun!)