Bardic Finals – Lord Martyn de Halliwell
“Bold Lord Robert of Lochleven”
by Martyn de Halliwell to the tune of “Edi Beo”
Bold Lord Robert of Lochleven,
was riding along on his best riding sheep.
Through the woods he did travel,
carrying pigs for the smoker that night.
All the bacon he would provide,
All his pulled pork goes right to our thighs.
Then Lord Robert he did arrive,
at court without taxes to pay for his Styes
Then the mighty Baron roared
The headsman’s axe swung with a terrible fright.
Good Lord Robert’s head flew by
A look of shock as it took flight.
All the bacon he did provide,
All his pulled pork went right to our thighs.
Then Lord Robert he was no more
Though now a saint as declared by our King.
Saint Lord Robert came along
On Saint Robert’s Day he still traveled on
Upon a Herald he came by
And said, “hello I am Lord Saint Ro-“
“What are you trying to do?”
“There’s no title stacking ever!”
So Saint Robert a Lord no more
He traveled along looking for boar.
Then Saint Robert he happened upon
A dastardly black knight with treacherous heart.
“Why the face and the heart so long?”
“I’ve not any clue I’m just really ticked off!”
“All the bacon can heal the soul”
“All the pulled pork goes right to your thighs.”
So go off and eat some now,
And know that the kings tax is due tomorrow.
So we’ve learned two important things,
To eat all the bacon and not title stack.
Thank you Saint Robert for not who without
We’d pray for bacon and pulled pork.
All the bacon your sainthood provides,
All the pulled pork goes right to our thighs.
So to him on his holy day,
We raise up a pork chop and shout “Amen.”
Photo by Lady Katherine O’Brien
Video by Lady Arlyana van Wyck